Leaders are in the business of communication and as youâve seen me write on numerous, previous occasions, that means mastering the skills of concise, effective, persuasive messaging which serves the conversation and drives decisions.
My conversations with clients this month have focused on the guaranteed reality of challenge, scrutiny, disagreement and how to prepare successfully for it. Challenge is always good in business; it stretches our thinking, encourages creativity and supports increasing the rigour of decisions made. However, itâs surprising how little effort is put into preparing for it.
Being persuasive means demonstrating grace under pressure, active listening, managing emotions, âtaking the spaceâ in the conversation to gather thoughts, and then delivering a clear, crisp, compelling and non-emotional reply. Sounds easy doesnât it? Of course itâs not in practice⌠and indeed itâs practice that we need to complete as part of our preparation. Note the most common challenges that will come your way, organise an answer in three parts, making clear the âwhyâ and then rehearse and record on your phone to hear how you sound.
Too often leaders ramble on⌠itâs not engaging, and it never persuades.And invite others to really stop and think.
When Was the Last Time You Were Made to Really Stop and Think?
Whatâs the most thought provoking question youâve been asked at work this month?
Most of my discussions, reading and reflection with clients this month has focused on the communication skill of questions. When I ask this question of my clients, the most common response is a blank face, a furrowed brow⌠silence.
Curiosity â manifested in brilliant questions is a skill which, when we were little kids, we were utterly brilliant at, and plagued our parents, teachers and others with endless questions, every single day with them.
So what?
So, whatâs true as we become adults; as we become more educated, more experienced, more elevated in our careers, then something happens in relation to questions â and itâs not good. We just donât ask enough of them. Why not?Thatâs the natural first question to ask and the answers which Iâve heard are wide-ranging and complicated:
âI donât want to look stupidâ (psychological safety)
âI donât want others to think I canât do this roleâ (reputation)
âI should know all thisâ (shame)
âI donât have time to engage with these people/this meetingâ (overwhelmed)
âI know all thisâ (delusional)
âIâm typically right on thisâ (even more delusional)
My point is this: managers have all the right answers; leaders have all the right questions. We reach for our phones endlessly during the day. We should think of cultivating our curiosity by reaching for questions in the same way as we reach for our phone. Cultivate a set of âkiller questionsâ which act in the service of the conversation, the ideas on the table, and the decisions in front of the team.
The Top 3 Mistakes in Leadership Communication To Avoid
My conversations with clients this month have taken me across the globe; working with graduates to board room executives, working in a range of different industries. Some themes have evolved which prompts me to share what works well⌠and what to avoid.
As always, and as a disclaimer⌠the theory of communication is easy⌠the practice of it is not. This is about rigour; thatâs the challenge. Doing this well, whether weâre prepared or not, whether the audience is receptive or not, whether itâs our area of expertise of not, being a brilliant communicator in the hybrid world of work today means:
Replace Speed with Specificity: too often the pace of discussion is very quick with almost no âthinking timeâ before the speaking starts. As a result, the length of contributions is too long and not sufficiently relevant. Instead, slow down, pause, reflect and then comment in a specific and relevant way.
Replace Data Density with Decisiveness:  A wall of data is just that⌠a wall.It overwhelms and confuses the audience. Decide what your message is and then decide the most compelling data around which to convey your story.
Replace Being Clever with Being Curious:  Managers have all the right answers; leaders have all the right questions. Proving what you know all the time persuades no-one. Ask more; tell less.
Several high potential talent development initiatives this month have prompted me to consider how brilliant communicators give brilliant feedback. I call feedback âthe F word in leadershipâ and I refer to it whether commenting on strengths or gaps. Building trust, creating a culture of âpsychological safetyâ and getting the timing right are fundamental to the recipients of feedback feeling helped, valued, supported, and not harmed, diminished, beaten.
One of the biggest gaps my clients and I have been discussing is when the right moment comes to open our mouths and speak, it can still all go horribly wrong. What works and what doesn’t?
1.  Use a simple model. Several of my global clients use the framework of âcontinue and considerâ; which I really, really like.
2.  Keep the comments short. The insight should be shared in a few seconds. For example:
    a. âConsider shortening your explanation. I got lost in the detail of what you saidâ.
    b. âContinue to provide the business case. I was persuaded by the return on investmentâ. There is far too much elaboration, expansion, excuse⌠the insight is lost in all the âblah, blah, blahâ around it.
3.   Pause and repeat if the recipient didnât hear it, process it, understand it.
Thereâs a rigour here which all leaders need to improve. Be generous, and consistent with giving feedback, as well as open, receptive, and curious to receiving it yourself.
Itâs not only the fictional character Superman who has superpowers; we all do.Â
My conversations with clients recently have focused on encouraging leaders around the world to be curious about their superpowers. What are we talking about? These are the things which all of us do effortlessly, brilliantly, almost imperceptibly, often without even realising it, and without even really understanding how we do it; we just do it.  The result?  Others appreciate our superpowers deeply.
In a fast paced, intense, urgency-biased, post-Covid business world, itâs very easy – and completely understandable – to focus exclusively on the âredsâ, the âdeltasâ, the problems, the issues, and the gaps which we and our teams have and look to fix them. Thatâs understandable of course. However if weâre going to lead more effectively, engage more effectively, communicate more effectively, inspire more effectively and strengthen relationships more effectively, then we need to understand what weâre really, really, really good at, and be curious about how to use it, to serve the conversation, to improve a professional relationship, to overcome a challenge, to remove a barrier, to make progress, to increase the engagement and satisfaction of our customers, our colleagues, our team and ourselves.
Leadership is a relationship business first and foremost, and that means leaning into your strengths, your superpowers, for the benefit of everyone.
And if youâre not sure what your superpowers are? Start asking those whom you trust to share⌠and you might well be surprised as to what you hear.
My conversations with clients this month have focused extensively on this question. All of us have strengths which are fantastic, enable us to achieve extraordinary results, work brilliantly with others, overcome a wide range of challenges and obstacles, and such strengths are quite simply part of who we are. Â
And yet⌠there will always be specific, individual contexts in which specific strengths do not work for us, and instead, they workagainst us.
For example, if you are driven, determined, and willing to invest whatever time and energy is required to succeed, then clearly, these are strengths which contribute to your professional success. However, when you are overly tired, under pressure, feeling unappreciated and are someone who hasnât laughed enough recently, rested enough recently, exercised enough recently, and asked for help enough recently, then these strengths arenât working for you, they are working against you.
So, quite simply, the answer to the question âwhen is a strength not a strength?â is this: when the strength is overplayed.
This reveals a development opportunity for all of us. Overplayed strengths are situation specific; they are not failings. They are strengths which arenât helping in a particular context. As a result, they invite our curiosity, our openness and willingness to learn, garner the right resources, and get the support we need to be more effective in such situations in the future.
Have you ever met people who, when they start talking, just donât seem to know when to stop?
My conversations with clients this month have been heavily focused on listening wholeheartedly and getting comfortable with the concept of pausing (to think!) before replying. Why is this so important? Because our ability to listen well has plummeted as a result of working remotely. Itâs not that great in person either to be honest, and this has dramatically affected our ability to communicate effectively.
All too often in business I encounter behaviour which I call the âpress playâ trap. What do I mean by âpress play?â Some of us reading this article have enough life experience to remember the cassette recorder. You hit a button when a song came on the radio, to record it for posterity.
In the world of work, the âpress playâ trap means that someone starts talking⌠and keeps talking⌠and is still talking⌠whilst being blissfully unaware that theyâve lost their audience.
When it comes to communication, this is our challenge. Stop and think. Organize your thoughts first â rather than share all the internal dialogue. Say less. Say it better. Say it in a way that is crisp, concise, compelling. Cut out the waffle.
Why? Because otherwise youâll build a brand as the âpress playâ person. When you start; you donât stop. Donât be that person. Donât fall into that trap.
Iâve been experiencing cognitive overload recently.
In simple terms, it happens when the brain is overwhelmed with information and in the context of learning, Iâve found myself on the receiving end of it during this past month. To deliver some work for a client, I have been asked to learn, understand, synthesize, and then translate content which I have not created, but need to deliver.
Oh my.
As I reviewed the material, I experienced all sorts of anxiety. There was way too much information, so my attention started to wander. There were far too many concepts, so it was hard to distinguish the threads of connection and purpose of understanding it all. There were way too many builds, so I quickly realised that each slide was going to be a long slog. There were too many bullets, which meant that the density of each point weighed heavily on my mind and finally, there was just far too much complexity.
So what?
Yet again Iâm drawn to how this experience relates to the way in which we need to influence, persuade, and engage others in our professional lives. For the audience, it needs to feel relevant, straightforward, clear, ârisk freeâ, light on the head, the heart, and the hands.
Our challenge with communication as leaders is to come out of the density, provide the clarity and know when to stop.
Simplicity Doesn’t Mean Stupidity In The World Of Communication
As leaders we continually strive to take complexity out of our businesses, out of our processes, out of our decision making⌠and we do so to drive agility. Makes sense, doesnât it?
However⌠Iâm continually struck by how we donât take the same approach when it comes to our communication.
My conversations with clients this month have focused on pitches that are too long, presentation slide decks that are too dense (and which no-one understands), answers that are too detailed, and opinions that are too unstructured⌠the list is endless.
So, whatâs going on here? I cannot decide if itâs driven by a lack of confidence, a need to demonstrate the ârightâ to be in the room, a power play, a misunderstanding about what influence really means, a belief that our value is in our technical expertise so we need to talk about it extensively in our messaging, a desire to avoid being perceived as stupid or incompetentor something else entirely.
Whatever the rationale, letâs be clear â simplicity of message doesnât mean stupidity⌠it means clarity. It also means agility. We can only be agile if we remove complexity from our communication.
So, if you want to influence others, get support for your ideas, drive momentum to get things done, achieve your objectives, get more time back on your calendar, increase your satisfaction and improve your relationships with colleagues and customers alike, then focus on simplifying your message.
Simplicity doesnât mean stupidity; it means clarity.
The new year has begun with international travel to work with clients in the world of law, life sciences, energy, finance and professional services; and even though January still isnât over, Iâm reminded of a stark reality for professionals everywhere. It is simply this: concise, compelling communication isnât easy. Unless we really hone the essential skills which underpin an influential message; itâs a common error to fall into the trap of âblah, blah, blahâ. What do I mean by that? I mean too much has been said, or the focus isnât right or the level of detail doesnât suit the requirements of the audience.
Concise, compelling communication means:
Rigour on the objective for the message. What do you want achieve specifically by the end of it?
Structure is paramount. A 3-part narrative stops the waffle. If weâre not clear on the sections of our message, itâs impossible to organize and convey our message effectively.
Grab the audienceâs attention at the beginning. The goal is that they âlean in and listenâ, rather than âlean back and check outâ.
STAR moments. Every engaging message needs these. What are they? Something Theyâll Always Remember.
Context â why should they care about what youâre saying? Be clear on this early on.
Ask â if youâre influencing youâre asking for something. What is it exactly?
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